Thursday, June 27, 2013

Legends of KUBBL - Bill "The Butcher"

Bill "The Butcher" - from the notes of coach Thorn

"Ears and Noses will be the trophies of the day."

Bill is a crafty Skaven Blitzer, he has always played for the Gits and will do so "until I die", is what he is always heard saying. He enjoys the very little things in life but mainly blood and carnage. The team turns to him as their captain because he is the scariest and the most intimidating of all the Irish members of the Gits. He isn't afraid to scrap with anyone at anytime. Raised as an orphan he learned quickly that if he wanted anything he had to get it himself, he has used those tactics his entire life.

Bill is also a butcher in Maynooth during the Blood Bowl off season. The question is whether he got his name because of that or because he is a butcher on the field of play.

Could never fully leave the KUBBL, is now a BBPN on and off analyst and also owns a butcher shop, Bill's Butching right around the corner from the KUBBL stadium complex.

# of Fouls : 1
# of Foul Casualties : 1
# of Ejections : 0

<KUBBL Reset>
Preseason: Had top casualty award named after him. The Butcher.
Preseason: All time KUBBL casualty leader.
Preseason: All time KUBBL kill leader.
Preseason: Joined Hall of Fame.
Preseason: retired from the KUBBL.

R8: Juggernaut blitzed someone out of bounds for a Gits casualty.
Scrambler: Gits 22nd kill on Rick Nielsen, apoth'd
Scrambler: Casualty Hat trick +2
R6: Gits 19th kill on Linebot Delta
R6: Casualty hat trick +2
R5: Became the first ever KUBBL LEGEND.
R5: Leveled to LEGEND status.
R5: Gits 18th kill on Mr. Feeder
R5: Gits 17th kill on Reverend Chadband
R5: Helped the Maynooth Gits become the team with the most casualties in one match.
R5: Beat his own record for most casualties by a single player in one match.
R5: Double Kill.
R5: Double Casualty hat trick +1
R3: Has already passed his KUBBL III casualty performance in 3 matches.
R3: Gits 150th casualty, a crowning moment for Player and Team.
R3: Has sustained his second ever miss next game, both by coach Randroid.
R3: Gits casualty hat trick +1
R1: Had a write up in the Gits Fix!
R1: First Gits Kill
R1: First Gits Casualty
R1: Gits 16th kill on Major Tom apoth'd to MNG
R1: Broke Action Man 's collar bone, Apoth'd to a broken ankle.
R1: Gits casualty hat trick +2

Post Season: Continues to be the most decorated KUBBL player.
Post Season: Awarded top casualty inflicter.
Pop Khorne Bowl: Casualty Hat Trick
R4: Gits 12th Kill on Lurgy Soup
R4: Casualty Hat Trick +1
R3: Casualty Hat Trick

R3: Missed his first match ever due to injury.
R2: Was given his first real casualty damaging his back. Resulting in a niggling injury.
R2: Gits 10th kill on Wartgristle, who regenerated out of it.
R1: Smashed Stay-Puffed's ankle resulting in -MA.
R1: Casualty Hat Trick

Block 1v4: Casualty Hat Trick
Post Season: Became the most decorated KUBBL Player in history.
Post Season: Awarded Fan Favorite.
Post Season: Elected onto the KUBBL All Star team.
Post Season: Awarded top killer.
Post Season: Awarded top casualty inflicter.
R5: Gits 7th kill on Blud Lust
R5: Casualty Hat Trick
R5: Casualty Hat Trick.
R5: Gave Soren -MA
R4: Only played 5 turns of the match. Coach chalked it up as resting.
R4: Had his 3+ casualty streak broken, it lasted 3 matches.
R3: Leveled to Super Star status
R3: Casualty Hat Trick, 5 Casualty game
R2: Casualty Hat Trick
R1: Became the KUBBL Casualty leader
R1: Casualty Hat Trick

R3: Was awarded the Golden Fist
R1: Casualty Hat Trick

Block 3v2: Became the KUBBL Kill leader
Block 3v2: Leveled to star status
Block 3v2: Fifth Gits kill on Danger Mouse .
Post Season: Awarded top killer.
Post Season: Awarded top casualty inflicter.
R7: Named Gits All Star.
R6: leveled to emerging star status
R6: Third Gits kill on Vulcanus
R5: First Gits foul action casualty.
R5: Leveled to veteran status
R4: Casualty Hat Trick
R4: Second Gits kill on Saint Anger , apoth'd
R3: Casualty Hat Trick
R2: First Gits kill on Eric
R2: 2 casualty game vs the Coxville Knockers
R1: Leveled to experienced status
Original member of Maynooth Gits
Team Captain of Maynooth Gits
Received a 10,000 bounty from the Cutler City Criminals

Gits Fix! write up
Gits Fix! - The Butcher
Hello Gits fans!, this is Patches O'Houlihan and I'm here to give you a very special article about Bill "The Butcher" © , after his amazing outing against Team Venture where he scored a whopping 5 casualties against a strong brutal team bill has continued to solidify his name in the KUBBL History books.

"I have never coached a more dominant player on the pitch, he come out to play every single match and the day he retires will be a sad day for all KUBBL and Blood Bowl fans alike." - Coach Thorn (Maynooth Gits Coach)

The up and coming Blitzer of Team Venture, Action Man who has shown the most potential as being a dominant killer in KUBBL behind Bill "The Butcher" © was beaten by Bill in a head to head match that was listed as one of the Top Matches of KUBBL IV, leaving the pitch with a busted collar bone, and then after getting that patched up ended up with a broken ankle leaving him with a -MA for the rest of his career.

"That Bloke was tough as nails, fortunately for me my claws can go through nails just as easily as flesh." - Bill "The Butcher" ©

It was a match for the ages KUBBL fans, and now without further jabber, I have a small history on Bill the Butcher and what he was and what he has become, Enjoy...

The bastard runt of a litter of scavenging underworld rats, Bill quickly learned how to be scrappier and meaner then anyone else in the family. "when you grow up in a rat family, especially an underworld family it is survival of the fittest, and I wasn't about to go down without a fight no matter what size I was."

Bill quickly learned that there were no limits to the pain you can bestow on someone. Ripping out their ears, gouging eyes, clawing open a nut sack, even spitting in someones face to get a quick jab or stab before they could react. He was quickly scouted by a Blood Bowl analyst and thrown onto a team of losers,

"I really felt that he would spice up the competition, everyone goes to these games to watch the savvy human team The Black Bay Boxers dodge and weave their way to victory as the small goblins and festering rats stumble all over each other or even kill each other." -Vick Undercarriage (KUBBL reporter, Blood Bowl Analyst)

Little did they know what would really come of the Runt that was once known as Billy the Runt. In the first match up of the once low on the totem pole Maynooth Gits versus the Black Bay Boxers Bill started the match by poking the eyeball out of the star blitzer of the team Horace Kachunk, a massive blood trail and screaming later he could never play another match of blood bowl again. That didn't stop him either, on his second turn he knocked the head clear off a catcher attempting to get past the line into the Gits zone, Bill wasn't having any of that.

At the end of the match the score was 1 - 0 the Black Bay Boxers with the win, but the casualty total was 1 - 10 with Bill scoring 11 casualties 3 of which were kills, and one went to the Boxers because Bill was annoyed with the Goblins who couldn't score with the ball and killed him. After that day he was given the name of Bill "The Butcher" © and the team was turned into a real team that real fans wanted to come and watch the carnage.

It took the Gits a long time to actually learn to play the ball and a lot of goblins, Bill would gladly kill the ones that were "monkeys Effing a football" as he would so politely put it and replace them with new goblins to prove their worth. Bill has definitely come a long way from being the runt of the litter, to being one of the most feared players on the pitch. Not many people play against him lightly and if they do, they have learned to pay!

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